When change is thrust upon
us, as it often is these days, we tend at first to resist
it. They gradually we learn to accept it and finally to work
constructively with it. Change often appears as a threat to
one's ego...it means leaving the tried and true. We usually
respond first by trying to stay on safe ground. If we understand
the stages most people go through when they react to uninvited change
we are better able to get through a transition period. Learning
about these stages also helps us understand ourselves better. Ralph
Killmann and Teresa Covin have identified four key stages in the
change process and ways to deal with them:
Shock. The person shuts down thinking and as many systems as
possible (as in physiological shock). He seeks information and
reassurance. Give information (it will need repeating) and
Stage 2: Defensive
Retreat. The person is angry and wants to hold on to her old
ways and dwell upon the past. Identify areas of stability,
things that are not changing. Ask "What is
risky?" and provide reassurance regarding exaggerated
Stage 3. Acknowledgement.
The person has a sense of sadness over loss, but are letting go.
He is beginning to see the value of what is coming and looking for
ways to make it work. Involve him in planning for what lies
ahead, but use a careful decision-making process for structure.
Stage 4. Adaptation
and Change. What is coming has arrived. The person is
ready to establish new routines, help others and do whatever is called
for. Support risk-taking by pointing out ways you will support
Only by recognizing the
behaviors characteristic of each stage will we be able to sort out
what is needed and how we can help.
Adapted from the Pryor
Never Be Afraid to Say:
"I made a
Hope Health Letter, The
Hope Heart Institute
Dealing with Challenging
Some people are more
difficult than others to deal with. The book, What to Say What You Want, offers specific suggestions to deal with
forty-four challenging types of people. The key tip:
You must know your audience....whether it's one person or a
rhinos. Rhinos have a powerful need to have their own way.
They like to tell you what to do. They reject guidance and
believe that rules were made for others to follow. They're
aggressive and sometimes hostile. Mistakes to avoid when dealing
off. They're counting on it.
head-on with them. They'll try to stampede you.
flustered...because then they win.
What to do:
Listen to them
until they blow off steam and run out of things to say.
When they begin
to wind down, jump in with an assertion of the needs to be met.
Don't let them
interrupt you. Say, "I'm not through yet."
Avoid the word
"you," which sounds like a counterattack.
startle them to get attention.
Adapted from What to
Say to Get What you Want, Sam Deep and Lyle Sussman
Open Up to the Miracle of Transformation
touch your heart in ways you cannot predict...a child will change you
inside out and introduce you to a new dimension of your spiritual
being. They will bring new adventure, new people, new ideas, new
feelings, joys and sorrows into your life. They will take you to
places inside your soul you may never have known before. This
can be an enlightening blessed journey if you open your heart and
remain vulnerable, but if your heart is closed and your mind locked
tightly in a rigid mind-set, you are going to have many struggles and
not much success. When you remain open to all the wonderful
miracles of transformation, life with your child will become deeply
experience is that most parent read adulthood with some emotion scars
of their own. Staying open to your children will give you the
opportunity to heal the wounds of your own childhood.
open, listen closely, and you will learn about yourself. You
will come to know yourself well enough that you can make sensible
choices about what is right for your family. Being open does not
mean drifting aimlessly. Being open means considering all the
options before you decide. Talk to other parents and see ho9w
they are coping, but never follow their advice blindly....listen to
your intuition and trust yourself to know what's right for you and
your child. Being open to transformation means that you will
conscientiously search for answers within your own heart. When
you let the love of a child transform you,. you have become rich, you
from Wonderful Ways to Love a Child, Judy Ford
Needs vs. Wants
Have you ever had this experience? You are shopping for a new outfit when your eyes
spot something you covet....an expensive leather jacket,
perhaps. You don't need the jacket. You need the
outfit. But somehow, when you must make a decision, you can't
resist choosing what you want over what you
Of course, somewhere down the road
(when you must wear your faded outfit to an important function) you
will pay dearly for your compulsiveness. You may even vow never
again to be swayed by your emotions.
If you can stick to your plan, you will
have effected a major change that could have positive results, not
only for your wardrobe, but also for your daily life. If we
could boil it down to a simple lesson, it would be the one put forth
by Johnson in his book, "Yes" or "No": The
Guide to Better Decisions: "When I pursue only the real need,
I am more decisive and I make better decisions sooner."
Try this method the next time you must
make a decision. Start with something small, so that you will be
able to delineate your choices quite clearly. You will discover
that this process allows you to step back and become more
When you can study your choice based on
wants vs. needs, you will find it not so difficult to make the right
Adapted from Working
Mr. Pitonyak's Pyramid Puzzle: This
site features an interdisciplinary Web-based project designed for
middle school math students to determine how much it would cost to
build an Egyptian pyramid today. Watch the advertisements.
of Entropy: If your children are creating graphics for
school or personal websites, or if they want to polish their
graphics skills, check out this great site with lots of tutorials for
Paint Shop Pro. Learn the tricks of the pros and have the snazziest
lettering on your site. Apply those tips to buttons and other images
you use on the web and in print work. Many of the features
demonstrated are available in other paint programs.
Voices: How does development affect individuals in different
countries? Oral testimonies have been gathered from communities in the
Himalaya, the Andes, the Sierra Norte, Mount Elgon, the highlands of
Ethiopia and Lesotho, China, the Sudety mountains and the Karakorum
mountains. Students can learn of the past and present of many native
peoples in the world, as well as the realities of the global economy
in these regions.
Math Ventures: Ribbit contains three applied mathematics
problems that we hope bloom into more. Read the text on the Parent and
Teacher Pages, then work with students on the problem appropriate for
their grade level. Hop to it! http://web07.mohonasen.org/staffdev/mathven/Ribbit/rdefault.htm
A Multimedia Guide to the Ancient World: Cleopatra: is an
interactive guide to the Ancient Art Collection of The Art Institute
of Chicago. Cleopatra, queen of Egypt from 51 to 30 B.C., embodied the
three great cultures of the ancient Mediterranean region: she was
Greek by birth, ruled Egypt as its queen, and lost her kingdom to
Rome. To see the "Close-up" views of the Ancient Art
objects, their "Stories" and listen to the Glossary
pronunciations you will need QuickTime. Includes printable lesson
plans for grades 4 thru 12 http://www.artic.edu/cleo/index.html
This is a fun online game developed to help anyone who is learning
multiplication tables. It takes place in space and even sprinkles in
learning about the planets. You can play it online, or register and
receive a full downloadable version as well as downloadable
interactive support tools. The game lets you figure out the answers,
or you can turn off the table and wing it on your own. Simple, fun
diversion to help reinforce multiplication skills.
A beautiful site built with Flash. A bit of a time waster? Or really
more like a trip to an online interactive museum of new media--but
hey, that's educational too! Features a considerable collection of
lovely, addictive games and a smaller collection of interesting media
called "Experiments" (roll down past the News).
wishes for a joyous holiday season!
From the Knowledge HQ Staff
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Knowledge Headquarters, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.knowledgehq.com